As the anniversary of the day you left approaches, I still can't help but think "why you."
Being someone who knew him for a short time, I never openly expressed how it felt to hear that JB had passed. Only to my closest friends. It was odd to me, it felt wrong to feel the sadness I felt. Wrong because I thought to myself, "others knew him better than I and they must feel 10x worse."
But I couldn't help but feel this heaviness in my heart. The tears wouldn't stop. It felt like endless pain. While at the same time feeling so happy that I had the opportunity to know him, to work with him, to laugh with him.
I remember the day I got the Instagram notification:
"[diosalifestyle]: jb.capturess Replied to your story: Let's take some photos of you guys!!!"
I had never collaborated with a photographer before--especially not a man, during photoshoots there are way to many ladies parts out in the open for a man to be around! I had always been behind the camera. But JB slid in the DM's just as I was in a major creative funk. I felt instant comfort to work with him. He came out and he showed out.
April 25th 2021:
The day I got the call; I was playing with my niece Seylah, hearing her giggle as I swung her around. My phone rings to a phone call from Andrea (model), I answer and I hear the sadness in her voice. She said,"Cyn, JB is gone."
Stupid me couldn't quite understand. Gone--like gone camping, gone on a new adventure. He was always going on a new adventure. She said, "Gone, like he passed away."
My heart dropped, I felt numb. I could not come to process the news. There was no way that JB could be gone... No way. We had so much more work to do, so many more laughs, we still had to go get drinks because I never got a chance to try the drink he always told me I needed to try. He couldn't have left.
But he did. He was gone. And one year later JB is still greatly missed.
I know you are resting my friend. Thank you for sharing your talent with me—with the world. You had a heart of gold, a contagious smile, and an energy that no one could match. Thank you for always encouraging me to take a break, and have a drink instead.
Con mucho amor,